I'm adopting!

The other day I woke up and decided it was time to adopt another kid! Claire wants to be a big sister. She wants someone to boss around that won't embarrass me when she does -- the neighbors are getting really tired of her bossing around their dogs and cats; though, all the neighbors tell me what a good and pretty dog she is... So, I got online and started looking for abandoned Rhodesian Ridgebacks in the western U.S. and I came across "Zeke" (this picture is Zeke -- I know he looks almost identical to Claire, but if you look closely, you can tell Zeke is a boy).

He's one year old and was dropped off at a shelter by a military family who can't keep him on the base where they are assigned. Word has it that they are very distraught (and I'm sure they are -- I would freak out if I had to give up a pet -- I have a hard time forgiving myself when I have one fewer fish in my backyard pond due to a hungry raccoon or bird carrying them off). So, bad news for them is good news for me. As our cabby in Cairo would say, "It's my lucky."

The only downside of this whole adoption situation is that Zeke is in Oklahoma and the shelter doesn't deliver to Utah! There were no Ridgebacks available for adoption in Utah or anywhere closer that I could find -- well, not any quite as regal-looking as Zeke. So, I'm driving to my sister's house (Connie) in Colorado on Thursday and then on Friday she is riding with me to Oklahoma to pick him up (I love my sister -- well, I actually love all four of them). We're taking Claire, too, so they can bond in the back seat on the way home. I'm sure it will be a fun-filled slobbery road trip! Anyone want to come along??? I'm renting a big SUV for the trip because I don't think my little car would be very comfortable for two large dogs on such a long drive.

For those of you who are wondering why on earth I would get another large dog when my house is rather small, I can only say -- Hey, I pay my own bills, so mind yer business!

I'll be passing out cigars later. Congratulations to me!

Doggies Love Cool Whip!

Last night I left for about an hour to have dinner at a great Middle Eastern restaurant up the street that I eat at about 20 times a week because it's so dang good. When I got home, Claire was running around in circles acting unusually excited to see me (she's never very excited when I get home, especially if I've only been gone for an hour). I figured it was because she was so happy that my friend, Stacee, just moved into the mother-in-law apartment and she just wanted to thank me for renting it to a girl (Claire really can't stand men) -- she kept running from the living room, through the kitchen, down the back stairs and to Stacee's door, back and forth at warp speed. I was just standing in the kitchen laughing.

Finally, I walked into the living room and saw a giant tub of cool whip torn apart on the floor. It was empty, so there was no sticky mess (thank goodness). Then, I thought to myself, "Where did she get a tub of cool whip? I haven't had cool whip in the house since last Thanksgiving!" So, I screamed at her (as I always do when I find trash on the living room floor -- which doesn't happen very often now that she's almost three years old, and that's 21 in dog years and she should know better by now). She took off down the stairs again and I chased her with the empty container. I met Stacee downstairs and she just looked at me and said, "I'm so sorry! I was cleaning out the freezer and just put a tub of frozen cool whip in the trash and was about to take it to the dumpster, but Claire must have got it!"

So, my dog downed an entire large tub of frozen cool whip -- it must have taken her the entire hour I was gone to lick it clean -- and then she was on an intense sugar high for about an hour, running around like a crazy fool. I was sure she'd vomit, but she never did (lucky for her and me) -- she just collapsed on the floor once the sugar wore off.

My friend, Liz, said that maybe instead of getting upset, I should have asked Claire if she wanted some pumpkin pie to go with it. Which may have cured her since we recently watched HURL! on G4 -- our new favorite game show where five guys eat as much food as they can and then get on spinning carnival rides and whoever doesn't throw up for the longest time wins $1,000 -- and on that episode thay had to eat pumpkin pie and cool whip until they hurled. New episodes are on Sunday nights (if you're in Utah and have Comcast it's Channel 136 or on Dish it's somewhere around Channel 360) -- don't miss it!